Saturday, September 10, 2011

Team Fined For Fans Throwing Urine


The last three girls I dated had one thing in common, they all loved soccer and I hate soccer, go figure. Why I am attracted to these girls is obvious, I love outgoing women. The fact that they're all soccer fans is like a weird coincidence. My friend Nick says that maybe I'm a closet soccer fan which is ridiculous. There is not a chance in hell of me ever becoming a fan of soccer. On the CBSsports.com website I received mail from an unnamed player for the L.A. Galaxy basically telling me how 'simple minded' I was and of all things it said I was 'naive'. Now you can speculate on who this person was, I don't care about who it was because it wasn't signed. 


However, since I received that email I started to clarify my opinion on soccer by saying that I have no problem with soccer players per se. It's just personally hard for me to get into a game where grown men are running around a field for 90 minutes with a grand finale of a Nil - Nil tie. How the hell does the overtime work in soccer, maybe one of my angry readers can explain that one to me. If your game clock doesn't stop for any reason do you actually need a game clock? 


Why not start the game at 1:00 pm and stop at 2:30? I go to get coffee every morning because my girlfriend won't make me any errrr I mean I prefer the taste of a Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts. If I have my laptop with me I bring it in but the last time I did that I couldn't get any work done because some morons were shouting and celebrating every five minutes as they were watching a soccer match. I looked up at the t.v. and I saw the score was 0 - 0 oh excuse me Nil - Nil. I'm like what the hell are they celebrating?


Someone explain to me how a player rolling around in agony like he snapped his leg and gets carried out on a stretcher can miraculously run back into the game five minutes later under his own power. While you're explaining that to me perhaps you can also explain how soccer fans can throw urine at another person? That's what happened in Berlin, Germany at a rival match between Cologne and Bundesliga. 


The German soccer federation has fined Team Cologne $14,000 for the actions of their fans at the August 13th game in which Cologne lost. The disgusting actions of the fans include filling plastic cups that are meant for beer and other beverages with urine and dropping the cups off a the balcony onto the lower section of the stadium filled with fans of the rival team. Cologne president Wolfgang Overath said the perpetrators, "Are not futbol fans and these people have no interest in sports. I don't understand how futbol (soccer) can be abused incomprehensible actions. It's up to the federation and the team to reflect on how things have come to such excesses." 


I don't want to say I rest my case but this sort of proves my point. I mean I don't think I have to be worried about getting hit with urine or excrement which by the way was also thrown at that game, I'm not even going there I mean people who throw excrement should be committed because clearly their minds are broken. But what other sport do fans act like this? I know here in America we have problems too but nothing like this. Blood bombs, urine bombs, excrement bombs, can you imagine getting hit with something like that, that's a legal reason to fight if you ask me, the police should just stand there like you got three minutes like a UFC round. 


Incredible right! I don't think that's happening at Yankee Stadium, or Staples center or at Thomas & Mack, well maybe a Raiders game, I'm not putting anything past Raider nation. I like when the Cologne team president says the perpetrators "have no interest in sports" of course not I mean they are soccer fans. Soccer fans have one interest in mind and we all know what that is...to riot. You want to know how riots start, there you go, a couple of urine bombs and its on. So to my soccer fanatic emailers, stop feeding me this garbage about how it's about the passion when you and I both know its about the rioting.