Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Former UFC Fighter Headed For Jail

Congratulations UFC you have finally arrived! While the Ultimate Fighting Championships are not one of the big four sports in the US (NFL, MLB, NBA, and NHL) they have finally made it to the mainstream. Ok that happened a few years ago, but you are not an official sport in this country until one of your athletes gets arrested for doing something stupid and it has happened. As Officer John McClain says in Die Hard, "Welcome to the party pal!" Welcome to the party UFC.

Obviously War Machine and yeah that's his legal name now but obviously dude isn't the first UFC fighter to be sporting handcuffs but it's kind of a slow news day. Well it is in Las Vegas at least, and yes I know all about that European Soccer team visiting us but that's not news so I'm not talking about it. Maria's like aren't you curious let's go see and I'm like absolutely not, to me it's like paying to watch paint dry which would be more entertaining than a bunch of grown men running around for an hour and a half with a thrilling finish of a scoreless tie.

Let me get back to Mr. War Machine who has been sentenced to a year in jail and banned from bars and nightclubs. Mr. ok from this point on I will refer to him as dude because I'm losing focus his name is so ridiculous. Dude plead guilty to two charges of assault by means of a deadly weapon after getting into a bar brawl in San Diego earlier this year. He also received three years probation. He was also banned from drinking alcohol during his probation and going to any establishments that serve alcohol.

Dude's real name is Jon Koppenhaver ok I will call him War Machine again, now I know why he changed it. Don't you just love the judicial system? I mean the fact that this judge thinks a man who changed his name to War Machine is going to avoid bars and nightclubs oh and alcoholic beverages for three years! Surprised the local sportsbooks aren't giving action on this, I'd set the over/under at 6 months. No way is this guy going to avoid bars and getting his drink on. That would be like the dorks and skanks errrrrr I mean the cast of the Jersey Shore giving up television and getting real jobs.

Remember this is the same War Machine that got into a fight outside a gay nightclub back in February of last year. Now I shouldn't even waste my breath asking people to refrain from sending me comments asking why a UFC fighter would be at Krave in Las Vegas. I don't know and I don't care why he was there. All I know is that some of these fighters are usually getting into brawls at the Spearmint Rhino or Rick's Cabaret. My boy Adam is like maybe he didn't know what Krave was but people who've never been to Vegas know what Krave is.

I don't think I'm going to be seeing the Ice Man Chuck Liddell handing his keys to the valet there anytime soon, or Forrest Griffin or BJ Penn in the VIP section. Not that there is anything wrong with Krave to each his own but the "I didn't know what kind of club it was" defense is pretty lame and pretty hard to believe, I mean what are you blind? Why fight about it is what bothers me, I mean walk in and see no women and say my mistake and walk out. That's it, no one would've even known about it but getting into a brawl just draws attention from everyone which is what happened the last time he was arrested. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe he can stay away from the beer and the clubs but I say no way.

No comments:

Post a Comment