Friday, August 27, 2010

Kimbo Slice Wants to be a boxer

Kimbo Slice, real name Kevin Ferguson, wants to try his luck at boxing. "I feel like a baby again. I'm thinking about this at night. I'm gonna be a problem in the heavyweight division. I'm going be coming in with a bad demeanor. I want to see what it's like to break some ribs, break a jaw with one punch. This is a career move I love fighting. I like to knock people the [expletive] out. I love engaging, maybe some people think I'm crazy."

He's certainly serious, he's currently finalizing a deal with New Jersey based promoter Gary Shaw. Shaw seems to have great confidence in Kimbo's abilities. "He could easily be at the same level as guys the Klitschkos have been fighting. Maybe I'm wrong maybe he's coming to boxing too late, but I don't think so. He's not a beaten up athlete. He's a natural with that bob and weave like Mike Tyson" Shaw said.

Not only does Kimbo want to be champion but sounds like he wants to knock heads off on his way there. "I'm safety first driving, wear my seatbelt. Not in the ring. These fighters these days, their complacent, lazy. I'm hungry. I just dropped three of my kids off at tutoring. It's expensive!"

Look, I wish Kimbo all the best in boxing I really do. I actually think he is a good addition to the world of boxing because besides Mayweather and Pacquiao, there really isn't anything to talk about in boxing. Sure there's some excellent fighters coming up in the lower levels but nothing in the main stream worth mentioning. My advice to Kimbo is be patient and study as much tape as you can. Boxing isn't called the sweet science for nothing.

It's different from MMA but just as dangerous. In fact I think you're more likely to get knocked out in boxing than MMA. Jabs, hooks, uppercuts, there all designed to turn your lights out. That's exactly what's going to happen if dude walks into the ring unprepared. Gary Shaw is a promoter, it's his job to have great confidence in Kimbo's abilities.

I love when Shaw says Kimbo's got "bob and weave like Mike Tyson". Yeah, which Mike Tyson? The undisputed heavyweight champion of the 80's and 90's or the dude who lost to Kevin McBride? What worries me check that I could care less, but what should worry Kimbo is rushing into a fight. Shaw could have him fighting as soon as October! You'd think both Kimbo and Shaw would've learned a lesson.

Shaw was an exective at the Elite XC promoted fight that saw Kimbo knocked out in 14 seconds by Seth Petruzelli. Kimbo has the right attitude because if you're not hungry and you're not ready to break some ribs then you're in the wrong sport. All I'm saying is training is a good thing because you may be a street brawler and the baddest man on the block but most boxers begin their careers at 13. There really is a science to hitting and not getting hit. That science is the reason brawlers usually get picked apart by trained boxers.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Former UFC Fighter Headed For Jail

Congratulations UFC you have finally arrived! While the Ultimate Fighting Championships are not one of the big four sports in the US (NFL, MLB, NBA, and NHL) they have finally made it to the mainstream. Ok that happened a few years ago, but you are not an official sport in this country until one of your athletes gets arrested for doing something stupid and it has happened. As Officer John McClain says in Die Hard, "Welcome to the party pal!" Welcome to the party UFC.

Obviously War Machine and yeah that's his legal name now but obviously dude isn't the first UFC fighter to be sporting handcuffs but it's kind of a slow news day. Well it is in Las Vegas at least, and yes I know all about that European Soccer team visiting us but that's not news so I'm not talking about it. Maria's like aren't you curious let's go see and I'm like absolutely not, to me it's like paying to watch paint dry which would be more entertaining than a bunch of grown men running around for an hour and a half with a thrilling finish of a scoreless tie.

Let me get back to Mr. War Machine who has been sentenced to a year in jail and banned from bars and nightclubs. Mr. ok from this point on I will refer to him as dude because I'm losing focus his name is so ridiculous. Dude plead guilty to two charges of assault by means of a deadly weapon after getting into a bar brawl in San Diego earlier this year. He also received three years probation. He was also banned from drinking alcohol during his probation and going to any establishments that serve alcohol.

Dude's real name is Jon Koppenhaver ok I will call him War Machine again, now I know why he changed it. Don't you just love the judicial system? I mean the fact that this judge thinks a man who changed his name to War Machine is going to avoid bars and nightclubs oh and alcoholic beverages for three years! Surprised the local sportsbooks aren't giving action on this, I'd set the over/under at 6 months. No way is this guy going to avoid bars and getting his drink on. That would be like the dorks and skanks errrrrr I mean the cast of the Jersey Shore giving up television and getting real jobs.

Remember this is the same War Machine that got into a fight outside a gay nightclub back in February of last year. Now I shouldn't even waste my breath asking people to refrain from sending me comments asking why a UFC fighter would be at Krave in Las Vegas. I don't know and I don't care why he was there. All I know is that some of these fighters are usually getting into brawls at the Spearmint Rhino or Rick's Cabaret. My boy Adam is like maybe he didn't know what Krave was but people who've never been to Vegas know what Krave is.

I don't think I'm going to be seeing the Ice Man Chuck Liddell handing his keys to the valet there anytime soon, or Forrest Griffin or BJ Penn in the VIP section. Not that there is anything wrong with Krave to each his own but the "I didn't know what kind of club it was" defense is pretty lame and pretty hard to believe, I mean what are you blind? Why fight about it is what bothers me, I mean walk in and see no women and say my mistake and walk out. That's it, no one would've even known about it but getting into a brawl just draws attention from everyone which is what happened the last time he was arrested. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe he can stay away from the beer and the clubs but I say no way.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

ESPN Television Personality Arrested

This report proves that we are all human and sometimes the roles get reversed. Shout outs to Niagara University and their excellent journalism program. They should teach a class in avoiding personal scandals because if you're a reporter and you are a public figure and you screw up, you're personal life is fair game and suddenly your collegues turn their cameras at you and sometimes careers are ended.

I don't wish any ill will on the guy but Jay Mariotti is someone I watched every weekday on "Around The Horn" a show on ESPN. According to reports he has been arrested on a felony charge in Los Angeles. Police say Mariotti was arrested early Saturday in the department's Pacific Division following a "domestic incident." Mariotti was booked on a felony charge at 5:45a.m. and is being held on $50,000 bail. Mariotti lives in Los Angeles and was a long time columnist for the Chicago Sun-Times.

I was trying to wait to blog about this report because I wanted to see what his show on ESPN was going to say about it. I think it will be really interesting to see how they handle it but I was actually called out on CBSsportsline by another blogger. I don't want to call him out but since he bad mouthed me I read his blog and well let's just say he shouldn't be anywhere near superstar status, more like amateur or junior high status. Whenever I get called out I just say check out my views dude, come back when you reach 1,000,000 plus...scoreboard, look up at it...that usually shuts them up.

Anyway, eyes of people I do care about are going to be reading this and so I don't want to seem biased to Mariotti when I am usually hard on athletes charged with similar offenses. So I won't say anything bad about him because all of the information hasn't been released. Here's what we know, he was arrested for a felony which is pretty serious, he was involved in a "domestic incident"...which can be a number of things. He's being held on $50,000 bail.

California's state and local laws regarding domestic incidents are like 1000 pages long. In other words, all kinds of charges fall under the umbrella of domestic incidents. ESPN is not commenting so all I can do is reserve judgement until Monday when something will have to be said, unless they replace him on the show which speaks volumes in a negative way.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

More Proof Horse Racing is a bet not a sport

If you live outside of Nevada you probably only watch horseracing whenever it is on NBC for the Kentucky Derby, The Preakness, and the Belmont Stakes the three biggest races. No one does it like NBC either, they get their money's worth out of the two minutes of the actual race. Six hours of coverage, interviews with rich owners no one knows or cares about, showing people gulping $1,000 mint juleps when you can get a mint julep at 7 eleven for $2....ahhh the gracefulness, the spectacle, the pagentry that is horseracing.

Yeah that's the top end of the sport, now for the reality and no I'm not talking about the jockeys. Believe me, that is an entirely different report, one that would be so dark you probably couldn't get through it. The way these guys starve themselves and put their bodies through incredible things to make weight. No this report is about the low lives drugging horses to win races.

Some undercover investigators from California's Bureau of Gambling Control infiltrated races at private ranches in Lodi, Stockton, Escalon, and Ceres. Nine men have been charged with animal cruelty, and illegal gambling for operating a clandestine horse-racing circuit in San Joaquin County. The men were doping horses with methamphetamine and cocaine.

Investigators recorded a race on March 16, 2008 where minutes before the race, eight men stood in the middle of the track taking bets. Organizers sold beer and food while others recorded the races with video cameras. The ring leader Jose Villa Olguin, initially charged with promoting the illegal races, plead guilty in a deal with prosecuters. A judge ordered him to pay a $10,000 fine and serve 1,000 hours of community service. All defendants are due back in court September 13th.

This is incredible, I have to give the investigators props on this one because to the naked eye you would think nothing was out of the ordinary. These guys were so good they had their own horse racing circuit! They were even selling beer and food. If I were in attendance I would've thought I was just enjoying a day at the races. Well, the eight guys taking bets in the middle of the track would've tipped me off I think.

These guys were not track side or in the parking lot, no they were on the track taking bets as if they didn't care who saw what was going on! It's all about the benjamins isn't it fellas? I did this report because you are being naive if you think these guys are the only ones doing this. In a "sport" where the fastest horse gets you paid, what do you think is going to be happening? You either come in first, place, or show, or basically you ran for nothing.

My friend Jessica is here as I am writing this and she suggest the horse racing committee have a point system like they do in Nascar. Horse racing is all about winning, first, second, or third, that is it. See points only work in sports and I have been convinced that Nascar is a sport because sure we can all drive but how many of us can push 200mph without going airborne? Horse racing is a bet! I went to Utah a few years back for an NBA game with some buddies and talk about dry, no bars, no lottery, no sportsbetting but something we did find...Off Track Betting! Look it up dudes, now that's proof that horse racing is....well you know.

Monday, August 16, 2010

NBA's Stephenson Arrested for Assault

When Tyreke Evans the rookie of the year from the Sacramento Kings got busted for speeding I thought he's just a knuckleheaded rookie. Then Chris Coughlan the rookie of the year from the Florida Marlins shatters his knee slamming a pie into a teammate's face and still I thought nothing of it. I should've sensed a disturbing trend with rookies in 2010 was developing because Indiana Pacers rookie Lance Stephenson just got arrested for pushing his girlfriend down a flight of stairs.

According to the authorities, there was a confrontation around 5a.m. Sunday when the victim Jasmine Williams returned to her home with two friends. The witnesses say Stephenson was waiting for her and yelled "Are you kidding me?" before pushing her down the stairs. A judge released Stephenson without bail late Sunday night after his arrest on assault, menacing, and harrassment charges. Stephenson's next court date is scheduled for October 19th.

Obviously these are serious charges he's facing and the victim may have serious injuries. Reports say she suffered head and back injuries and possible damage to her neck. Stephenson dude, just because your girl stayed out all night you can't go throwing her down a flight of stairs allegedly. I say alleged because he's denying the charges. According to Stephenson the victim, "Had fallen down the stairs." At least that's the statement he gave to the responding officers.

Oh it gets worse for dude, according to a criminal complaint provided by the Brooklyn District Attorney's office it states that as the victim lay at the bottom of the stairs, Stephenson picked her head up and slammed it onto the bottom step. This is bad and I don't care that he's a 19 year old drafted out of high school with a great career ahead of him, this is not cool. At no point is it o.k. to be violent against women. Well, you shouldn't be violent against anyone but there is nothing more gutless and pathetic than a man hitting a woman.

Speaking of his career, dude is playing for the strictest team in the NBA the Indiana Pacers. Uh oh! They have a no nonsense policy after that brawl at the Palace of Auburn Hills against the Detroit Pistons several years back. How a riot didn't break out that night still amazes me. Pacers president Larry Bird sounds like he's not waiting for all the facts to come out in this case, sounds like he wants to get rid of Stephenson before the trial.

"Everyone in the Pacers organization remains strongly committed to our players representing Indianapolis and the state of Indiana in a positive way and will not condone behavior that reflects poorly on this franchise and community", Bird said in a news release. 
"We are continuing to gather all the facts regarding Lance's arrest but regardless of the outcome of the investigation, Lance should not have put himself in the position he was in early Sunday morning", Bird said.

On my blog on CBSsportsline I already have hate mail lol Ok Mr. Knowitall what would you do? and the answer is handle it differently obviously. First of all we have an understanding but if my girlfriend didn't come home all night and never called me I would just lock her out of the house. No in all seriousness, I would talk to her and let her know why I was upset and if that doesn't work then maybe you shouldn't be with that person. The problem is some people when they're mad or arguing, they run out of words to say and that's when bad things happen. 

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Competitor Dies at World Sauna Championship

In the professional reports I write for another website the feedback is interesting. It is usually 50/50 sort of a love/hate thing each day. That's when I am writing about sports...real sports like baseball, basketball, football, hockey, tennis, etc. Whenever I write about these hobbies that people want to turn into sports like ping pong and no Jessica it's not "table tennis" its ping pong lol But whenever I write about these wannabe sports I always get a lot of negative mail or comments.

Poker, hey I love it and my buddies and me play all the time but it's not a sport. If that's a sport then so is Crazy 8's and Old Maid. Adam's like then why is poker always on ESPN? It's called ratings and money, never forget the E in ESPN stands for Entertainment. Speaking of things that aren't sports, the World Sauna Championships...I didn't even know it was a competition see you learn something new everyday. The World Sauna Championships took place in Heinola, Finland. Apparently, the object of this "sport" is to sit in a room that is hot as hell longer than everyone else. 

Finland's native son Timo Kaukonen is the reigning five time champ. Russian Vladimir Ladyzhenskiy died at the event. The final started with six men but four of them left after three minutes in the 230 degree heat. Every 10 to 20 seconds the remaining two men were signaling that they were o.k. but after six minutes the referees took them out. The Russian had to be dragged out and fell in front of the sauna and workers put up barriers blocking the public's view of him shortly afterwards. Witnesses say he was covered in blisters and burns over most of his body and some of the blisters had burst. 

Ossi Arvela, the director of the championships, said the two men were giving the paramedics thumbs up "very often." Arvela also said, "They were conscious but unable to get out of the sauna on their own." The champion Kaukonen trains all year round for this one weekend. Dude gets into hotter saunas three times a day and drinks 3 to 4 gallons of water a day. He is also sponsored by a major sauna manufacturer.

O.k. I will try to make sense of this because I am just as sickened as you guys will be after reading this and be glad I don't post the pictures of these guys it is unreal. First of all congrats to the champ I guess, there's no prize money involved just some gifts that hardly seem worth baking to death for. Second, shouldn't there be rules like if you see "competitors" turning different shades of red and then purple maybe it's time to break the glass. Also I love Ossi Arvela's statement that "they were conscious but unable to get out of the sauna on their own." Yeah dude no kidding. That's what happens when you slow roast your "athletes".

Don't they have cable in Finland? I mean this sounds like something you come up with when your drunk at the frat house. You have the champ slamming 3 to 4 gallons of water a day and somehow living and when he's not slamming water he's jumping in and out of saunas all day, some life. He did land a major sponsor though so maybe that's how he's getting paid, whatever it is it's not enough. How the Finnish police didn't press charges is amazing.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Holyfield Wants to fight The Tank in November

This is a report that needs to be written, I was joking about an intervention yesterday but this guy really needs one. I have sat on the sidelines for too long, the last three times this guy came out of retirement I thought he was nuts and well this time is no different. This is my public service announcement or really a plea for help...someone please stop Evander Holyfield from boxing.

Aren't there rules or laws that protect citizens from themselves, in other words if you try to intentionally hurt yourself you often see police jump in and stop you and try to get you some help. Well where's Holyfield's help? So far the fight pitting Holyfield against Sherman "the tank" Williams is set for November 5th. Williams is 37 years old and Holyfield is 48. They have a combined age of 85! So much for boxing being a young man's sport.

I guess it could be worse, he could've went the James Toney route into Mixed Martial Arts in the UFC against Randy Couture...nothing could go wrong there. Toney had better do like Anderson Silva did and have Steven Seagal cage side to drag him outta there. Yeah I know Silva won, well more like survived. What is with these guys, yes they were all great at one point in their lives but it's as if they just can't let go of that dream to one day get back to being a champion. That is very noble and I almost respect it, but the bad outweighs the good by far.

The older you get the more fragile you get, unless your Jim Brown lol I saw him in person at a book signing and he still looks like he can rip your head off. Maybe because he left football in his prime. Brett Farve, Holyfield, Toney, etc...all of these athletes are jeopardizing the rest of their lives each time they go out to do "battle". One hit away from eating Gerber the rest of your joke. Someone should break down the reality of the situation. Call me crazy but at 48 I don't think being punched in the head repeatedly is going to do you much good in the long run. Sure they'll scratch you a check but how much are you going to enjoy it if something goes terribly wrong?

If this fight does happen it looks like it will be in Detroit...good, I don't want to be tempted to go see this trainwreck. Oh yeah, if Holyfield wins he wants a title shot at Vitali Klitschko the current WBC Champion. Great, so instead of Mayweather v Pacquiao in November I get to see this. Thanks a lot boxing, yeah thanks for nothing I am starting to like UFC better something I never thought I would say but at least they can put together fights worth paying for, something boxing used to be able to do.

Monday, August 2, 2010

My list of the stupidest injuries in sports

The Rookie of the Year award used to be a high honor, a proud achievement, something to show your future kids. Now it seems that it is just a curse. If I was going to be named Rookie of the Year I would turn it down because I might be in some freak accident or my golden retriever will die or something. It's not superstition this is pure fact. The Florida Marlins Rookie of the Year Chris Coghlan just ripped up his knee. No not in batting practice or a game. No, dude was slamming a pie into a teammate's face when he shattered his knee. Well, its not like this could have been avoided.

Then you have Sacramento Kings Rookie of the Year Tyreke Evans going fast and the furious on I-80 and granted he's not injured but for the next 30 days he's not going to be happy. All of this injury talk got me curious enough to do some research and see if there were any other guys getting injured over the stupiest things. To tell the truth I found way too many results to go over so I pick some of the stupidest. As God is my witness I am not making this up, do your own research if you don't believe me.

First some honorable mentions that didn't make the top ten:

Jacksonville Jaguars kicker Chris Hanson while chopping wood cuts a gash in his non kicking foot and had to go to the ER... nice...

Atlanta Braves pitcher John Smoltz burns himself ironing a shirt he was wearing...Smoltz tried to deny this...tried and failed

1995 AL Rookie of the Year Marty Cordova falls asleep in a California tanning salon and cannot play do to also get burned walking down the strip without any SPF on

The most recent injury is Kendry Morales, the Angels first baseman hit a walk off grand slam and breaks his leg celebrating at home plate...yes he will miss the rest of the 2010 season thanks for checking in Kendry

Remember these didn't make the here we go with a list compliled by me and the lovely Maria:

10:) Joel Zumaya couldn't play in the American League Championship Series due to inflammation from playing too much Guitar Hero

9:) Sammy Sosa suffers back spasms caused by...get this, sneezing too hard

8:) Kevin Mitchell chips his tooth biting into a frozen doughnut

7:) Moises Alou reinjures his ACL after he ran over his son on a bicycle...the kid was alright.

6:) Charlie Hough breaks his pinky finger by pinky swearing with someone, what is he 7 years old?

5:) Rickey Henderson gets frostbite after falling asleep on an ice pack, the best part about this one is that it happened in August!

4:) Glenn Healy, the Toronto Maple Leafs former goalie, stabs himself while fixing bagpipes. How do you fix...nevermind

3:) Glenallen Hill played for the Toronto Blue Jays, I don't know what kind of spiders they have up there but dude had a nightmare, jumped out of bed slamming into a wall, falling through a glass table and down a flight of steps...he was placed on the 15 day disabled comment he's been through enough

2:) Plaxico Burress, who could forget the former NY Giants star going to a nightclub getting his drink on and shooting himself in his leg with an unlicensed gun...he was given two years in prison and two years probation, it probably also costs him his career, hope that was worth it

1:) This is so tough and I have to admit that Maria picked this because I just couldn't decide, The number one spot goes to former San Francisco Giants All Star Jeff Kent. The second baseman broke a bone in his left wrist while washing his truck in his driveway. "I was straddling the back of my truck when I slipped and fell. I didn't think much of it at the time and continued washing my truck. It started swelling up during the night and got really sore." Did dude really get taken down by his driveway? You know, for these guys to be world class athletes they are complete morons off the field. Maria sums it up best... "They're all pretty stupid but that one, give me a break man!"

Sunday, August 1, 2010

NBA Rookie of the Year Arrested for Speeding

Sacramento Kings player Tyreke Evans has skills. He is definitely someone who can give a boost to the Kings who have been mediocre in the tough Western Conference. In fact Evans is such a good player that he won the NBA's Rookie of the Year award. Off the top of my head I can tell you about the guy's focus, his determination, and his speed on the court and these things will present a problem for any opponent the Kings face.

Of course Tyreke's speed off of the court is what this report is about. Evans was on Interstate 80 in his purple Mercedes when he was clocked by the California Highway Patrol doing between 120mph and 130mph! At those speeds you shouldn't even try to explain yourself, you should just get out of your car and have a seat in the back of the patrol car and pray you don't get maced or tasered into submission. 

His attorneys say Evans pleaded no contest to reckless driving and was sentenced to 80 hours of community service. He was also ordered to take part in teen driving programs and he will lose his license for 30 days. Basically, he got off lucky. There's no word yet on whether or not NBA Commissioner David Stern will impose any fines on Evans.

Police believe Evans was racing and I'd have to agree, either that or he was trying to make a flight. The dude is 20 years old and we were all knuckleheads at that age and my uncles constantly reminded my cousin and I about it. I agree with the community service and him having to find a friend or relative drive him around in his Mercedes for 30 days will be a humbling experience. 

The teen driving programs are what bother me. I mean do you really want this guy telling your kids anything about driving? I don't think that part was thought out all the way I mean what's he gonna tell the teens, how to take a curve at 90mph? And if he tries to tell the kids to drive correctly they won't want to hear it, they will want to know what it's like to hit triple digits on public highways. If I were Evans I would begin the class by saying it's just not worth getting arrested at gun point, then again nothing is...